Fast Feud: Kane vs Shane McMahon

The newest series of content to grace the glorious walls of Games and Graps; Fast Feud. EVERYBODY loves some tasty fast food, get it now?

Short. Sharp. Articles. They get to the point, tell you all about what made a feud so special (for bad or worse), whilst also giving you a history lesson. Plus you can go and watch it on the WWE Network for only 9.99. I don’t work for the WWE I promise.

For your first instalment of this brand spanking new adventure…I present…

Kane vs Shane McMahon.

Now I know what you’re thinking, Andrew…of all the feuds in the history of professional wrestling, you go with this? Yep.

Did it feature any technical masterclasses? Nope. Is it a feud that’s still being talked about 15 years later? Nope. Did I love it as a kid? Hell yeah!

This feud encapsulates the ridiculousness of a sports entertainment rivalry.

June 23rd. The day Kane died.

KaneUnmasking

Pretty, isn’t he?

The Big Red Machine was unmasked, per Eric Bischoff’s stipulation, after losing a World Championship match to HHH on RAW. It wasn’t pretty; aesthetically or story wise.

It enraged Kane who went on a rampage destroying everything and everyone in his path. No one was exempt.

This was where the fun began.

You have to appreciate that as a developing kid, you tend to appreciate the intense, chemistry-focused wrestling a bit less, and simultaneously crave the bloodletting and over-the-top antics more so.

Kane delivered these very things and more.

Bad things that bad, burny man did:

  1. He chokeslammed Eric Bischoff off of the RAW stage through tables.
  2. He threw his former tag team partner, Rob Van Dam, through a wall.
  3. He got a tad angry during a delightful sit-down interview and set fire to Jim Ross.

Crucially, he delivered a Tombstone Piledriver to Shane McMahon’s 54-year-old mother, onto a steel stage. Shane, predictably, took exception to this and retaliated with a vengeance.

KaneTombstoneLinda.gif                As a kid, this was quite shocking.

At the end of an episode of RAW, he beat Kane half to death with vicious steel chair shots, eventually sending Kane flying off of the stage. Foreshadowing.

It was then a case of one upmanship as Kane and Shane would trade heinous actions week-in and week-out. It was hilarious.

On the 25th August, they fought in a match that wound up with both men outside the arena. Shane poured an ungodly amount of gasoline/petrol (covering all bases there) into a dumpster, set it alight, and proceeded to boot Kane straight into it.

KaneBurningDumpster

Killing him. Stone dead. End of story. End of Kane. He couldn’t possibly survive that, could he?

Sports entertainment folks. We love it.

A mere week later, and Kane returned to fashion an impromptu, homemade torture device to electrocute Shane’s testicles; scarring him and everyone in the arena that night. I don’t think I need to say anymore.

A month’s worth of absolute insanity culminated in a hugely underrated Last Man Standing Match at Unforgiven 2003. I mean, these two left nothing in the arena that night. They beat the absolute stinking, beaver piss out of each other.

Shane’s downfall typically ended up being, well, just that; him falling down a long way as usual.

Unforgiven2003ShaneJump

ANDREW’S RECOMMENDATION: Watch this match.

But we didn’t end there, oh no. Kane would victimise Shane in the hospital and try to end his life. Again.

Shane reciprocated this kind gesture, I’m genuinely laughing as I type this, by trying to end Kane’s life, AGAIN, by trapping the Big Red Machine inside of a limo and crashing it into a trailer.

KaneCrashedLimo

After multiple homicide attempts, they did the only thing you could do in a volatile feud such as this one…they…had…DINNER.

It felt more Silence of the Lambs than a romantic, Valentine’s evening. Although they didn’t dispense with the vocal foreplay; they outright said what they were going to do to each other in their forthcoming Final Encounter Ambulance Match. I’m not saying it originated here, but you can’t deny the 50 Shades of Gray influence.

KaneShaneDinner

Survivor Series 2003

Kane vs Shane: Ambulance Match.

A serviceable war that, in some ways, bettered their Unforgiven war. It fell short, but it’s definitely worth a watch; it is a Shane McMahon match after all. Plenty of crazy spots in the match: people reversing vehicles into one another, sickening kendo stick shots, leaps off of the top of the ambulance etc. It accomplished everything it needed to do and signed, sealed and delivered the end of the feud into history.

Despite the long-list of cartoon-like events that happened week-by-week, because it certainly felt cartoony at times; there are notable reasons as to why this isn’t remembered too well.

Firstly, the unmasking of Kane was a moment six years in the making, but not one that people truly wanted. The degeneration of Kane’s aura was increasing year-by-year as he went from seven-foot monster ripping off the door of Hell in a Cell, to doing Kanearoonie’s.

But his mystique all but died when his mask came off. Conversely, the removal of his symbol of his evil should’ve created a new era of hellish destruction for Kane; and a big push. Shane was the last person Kane should’ve faced.

Kane needed to become an unstoppable force that looked strong. With all of his sadistic actions leading up to Unforgiven, a lengthy, unbeaten run would’ve skyrocketed his momentum.

However, Vince decided to have his part-time wrestler son, pretty much best Kane in their match. Kane was down and out at Unforgiven until Shane cost himself the match; it made Kane look weaker than the British pound.

The feud lost a lot of steam heading towards Survivor Series, as did Kane’s newfound ‘aura’. In all, it was fun but forgettable; but fun.

So yeah, this is one of those hidden gems you have to dig deeper into the wrestling archives to find. It’s just a silly feud that made the 10-year-old me very happy; wanting to see how these two characters could try and murder each other every week.

It’s also a hollow reminder that there were more ‘moments’ in these two months than in the last two years of modern day WWE.

*sigh*

I'm a nerdy, tattooed 25 year-old. I'm a lifelong wrestling fan that's been playing video games since birth. I'm a football fanatic who's in a relationship with Liverpool Football Club, I love many sports, a whole variety of TV and Film (especially Red Dwarf) and this bio probably doesn't even cover half of it. Soooo yeah. Read my writing you beautiful person who took time out of their day to read this.

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